Surprise Me!!!

Dear 2012,

I am eagerly and very excited that you will be here in 2 days, so since 2011 is leaving me never to see it again, I am asking you to please surprise me.

When you come around, please lets do things differently. I am tired of the status quo, please help me in my efforts to change it.

I know you cannot promise me many things, because I may not be around till the end, but can we try to though? Can we try to be kind to one another? Can we try to be gentle to each other?

Can you try to make sure that you witness less suffering?? With you, can you remind to keep my promises? To check on old friends? to re-establish some old family ties which become forgotten in the fast movements of life?

I guess maybe I am asking for a lot, I have many things planned for the both of us and I hope you will agree, but one key thing in all of them...can you 2012, please surprise me????

Thank you,
Yours truly,
Sabra Machano

S.T.O.P!!!

Its amazing the self destructive mood that engulfs us when things go seriously wrong. 

Even when its our fault....we are always looking for others to blame...

especially when we know that we are the reason behind the problem...

it becomes harder to be part of a solution...

but you know what, it will be owkay. 

Do it already!!!!

P.S: I love you guys

What is Beauty???

Not that I have anything against the women in the above picture...

i just have an issue with how pressured most of us feel to be like them...

hell, they are pressured to look like their own images...

and this is how they create their images...watch below...

Now think again, how can we possibly become an ideology?

How can we not love who we are?

it is impossible to try attain the shape, size and everything in the women 

in the magazine covers...they are all airbrushed...

I wonder how I would look like if i had the same money, and people 

to cater to my needs like they do...

So what is this beauty that we want?

What is wrong with what we have already been blessed with?

Why change the masterpiece when you are beautiful the way you are. 

Remember to Remember

"I want to remember that I am not my title, my position, my possessions, my appearance, my neighborhood, my age, my body size, my race or my income level. I am a soul"

DAR Floods

The effects of heavy rain in Dar-es-Salaam  City...leaves a number of people homeless!!!

Alot of people remained trapped in own due to the main bridges to the outskirts being flooded. 

A reported of 13 people have died due to this disaster!!!

Whether this is a natural or man-made disaster leaves to be seen!!!

The people affected are solemn...

many have lost everything in terms of belongings...

lives are at stake...its a somber mood.

efforts at retrieving those still left behind...

Yes..this is Dar...and a boat is what is needed to retrieve 

those still missing...

The president had to return to from his leave in light of this national disaster.

He must have a lot in his plate...being the one president ...

...who has faced many disasters during his stay in office..

the bomb explosion in Mbagala (twice)

MV Spice sinking in Znz

scandals in the government and a lot of publicized corruption

and now floods!!!

It is a situation of superlatives they say: flash floods due to several months worht of rain in 72 hours, including the highest rainfall ever recorded in a single day, have caused the worst floods the city has seen in 57 years!!! Thousands are homeless, much of the city has been paralyzed with damaged roads and power outages.  

Who is to blame? 

• The governments blames residents that have been warned not to construct homes in low lying areas.
• Lazy engineers that have been told time and again to fix bridges.
• The government itself has been warned about blocked drainage systems...
• and allowing big new developments that don't pay attention to flood risks.
• The Tanzania Meteorological  Society apparently issued warnings of high rains that were ignored by everyone!

What Will be Done?? 

We have yet to see what will be done in light of what happned....If anything that is. 

Would anyone miss you??

How is this possible to happen in this day and age?
To a woman who had family?
How do we not check on each other as a family?
To a person who lived surrounded by neighbours?
Why do we have trouble knocking on a door to meet a new neighbour?
She died alone - to be discovered in 3 years....
Just because she was behind in her rent!!!!

What kind of people have we become???
What kind of relationships do we forge?
This incident is shocking to many...
...but...if we inspect closely...
the quality of life are we living is lonely...
no meaningful relationships at the family level..
nor at the work place, leave alone at the residency...
it makes me question:

How will the value of my life be measured.???

I think that what will matter is:
not what I bought but what I built,
not my success but my significance,
not what I learned but what I taught,
not my competence but my character,
not how many people I knew but how many will feel an ever lasting loss once I am gone.

What will matter is not our memories but memories that live in those who loved us.
What will matter is how long we will be remembered,by whom and for what
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident, its a choice - a choice that starts today.

Death never takes the wise man by surprise. He is always ready to go. ~ Jean de la Fontaine

Judge Me (not)!!!

There is a story behind every person. There is a reason why they are the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone. Everybody is a genius, if you judge an elephant on its ability to fly the skies, it will live its whole life thinking that it is stupid.

How sure are you that if you had the same life I had, the same experiences, and the same temperament that you would be any different from me??

So, stop judging me. Even God waits until I die to judge me. 

Rearview mirror

I was browsing through one of my favourite blogs (http://mtaa-wa-malimbika.tumblr.com) and I came across this picture and an idea went off my head...an analogy or a rear view mirror and how a driver uses it...the driver uses the rear-view mirror to glance occasionally backwards on his journey forwards...

Yet so many of us in life, we get so stuck at gazing in the rear-view mirror of our lives that we forget to look forward. The reason why so many people find it so hard to be happy is that they see the past better than it was and the present worse than it is. We get stuck in the past and refuse to look up, to look forward. 

Now imagine if someone driving a car did that...kept using the rear-view mirror instead of the huge mirror on top the dashboard? Wouldn't a crash be inevitable? As a passenger of this car wouldn't you knock some senses into this driver? I mean its okay to use the rear-view mirror to see anyone who comes too close to your vehicle, to see if you are in the right lane and once in a while to go backwards to a spot you may have missed. 

Yet why don't we do this with ourselves? Why do we live in the past and forget the present??? Why do we get surprised that we always remain broken??? I always remind myself that pain is inevitable - but misery is optional. Yet we never use the past as a gauge for the present, to make sure you do not repeat the same mistakes, to make sure others do not get too close to hurt us or vice versa...but keep steering at the present...its understandable that once in a while we need to look into the past to relive the memories, to learn the lessons that we never did in those moments...

Let us use the past as the driver uses the rear-view mirror to drive the vehicle forwards.

Isn't it true?

Think about it!!!!

Boundaries

You cross lines and you don't think of the outcome,
You become disrespectful and you can't see the consequences,
You take what you want with no thought of anyone else,
You laugh at those in pain without assisting them,
You know no boundaries.

No boundaries makes you do stupid things,
Its comes from kids who never learnt the meaning of NO;
who became teenagers who rebel  and push boundaries,
who become grownups who have no respect,
of anyone's wishes other than their own.

Grown ups who fail to focus on the limits,
Who can neither read the hints between the the lines,
Nor find the meaning in actions of words unsaid.
And that grown up is you -yes YOU!!
So you better respect my boundaries before disaster strikes.

Let me spell it out for you:
When I say boundaries I mean more than my need for physical space,
My heart has a limit of what it can take,
The rules that apply to everyone apply to you too,
You are not above them- you will maintain them.

Sleepless

Once you have been hurt you are afraid of getting attached again because you think everyone is out to hurt and  break you. Its weird to spend a sleepless night thinking about someone who hurt you. Because it feels like you fell asleep thinking of the pain and the damage...when you finally asleep its only to have fitful bouts of sleep filled with restless dreams of damage...and you wake up crammed with the same thoughts until you cannot get back to sleep again. God is amazing that He made it impossible to sleep when you are enraged and angry. 

So awake in a sleepless nights...you go through the events all over again...wallowing in the misery. Until somewhere you finally doze off and just when you do - morning is awaiting. 

...a possibility...?

Is this possible?
Why not?

 life is just how you see it,

made by how you make it,

 justified by how you justify it.

lived by how you live it. 
So wake up and L.I.V.E!!!

You vs. My Friends

Who are you to tell me what friends I can have and which ones I can't? You were meant to be there throughout my life to help me transition into a woman and be that bride. No disrespect but where were you when i needed advice when guys started coming on to me, you didnt help me with peer pressure; I had my first heartbreak and my life shattered, and i glued up all the pieces together and my friends urging me to move on and that life has much better things in store for me.

Where you judge me because of how i dress or the kind of friends i have; they just accept me, they know me understand me and accept me as I am and have been through hell and back with me. Guess what, when i first got the butterflies when he asked me out, my friends knew. They gave me the heads up and told me he was a keeper, they told me to be real and accept the beautiful love that has been blessed into my life, through their eyes, supposrt, i started to shed my insecurities and tentatively explored into this love...now that love has grown so much that it is consuming me, its part and parcel of everything that i am and more. When I have that tinkle in my eye, my friends can guess what is the cause, and when i call to tell them that nothing is wrong, they take the first flight out and be there for me...

My love and I have already made the declaration to Allah, to our parents, family, friends and the whole world...and you tell me that friends are the worst thing in a marriage, that I shouldn't trust them, that they should have time limits to when they can come into my house, how long they can stay and if they can get to know my husband. Is it okay if I tell you that I am only listening to you to be repectful, but really what you say - i shall not follow. 

How can you accept some things in the world as they are and yet remain so rigid in others? especially in places that matter...I love my friends, they are my pillars, sometimes i lean on them and sometimes it feels to just know that they are there. No matter what you say, I am never changing that - and he doesn't want me to either. 

Balance

We all know about a balanced diet...how about a balanced life?? 

Most of us struggle with different at times parallel notions that we want at any given time. You  may want that latest stylish dress yet you don't want to be frivolous in your spending. You want the career, the fame, the adrenalin rush yet you want to stay humble. You want to be independent, have your money, manage your life, have your opinions and thoughts yet you care and value families and friends and their opinions of you; its like wanting to be dependent and independent.  

Most men think that women have it easier. They can multitask. Talk to you on the phone, be cooking, breastfeeding a baby, video taping her favourite show, keep an eye on the kids and have multiple to do list going off on her mind as well as thinking of the events for the day tomorrow. Men are daunted by this and are ultimately amazed at this capacity, they like to think that they have a one track mind and they can only do one thing at a time - or maybe three at the maximum.  

Yet in order to be truly happy its about juggling and balancing the opposites. Its about being both grounded and being able to soar to new heights at the same time. In short I think it is possible, if you plan yourself out right, you can manage to do most of the prioritized things in your life and be happy in whatever manner that happiness means for you. So don't limit yourself but do know when enough is enough and step away.  

In short, Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. 

Hello and Goodbye

The end of the year has finally dawned on us...almost 12 months, 365 days, 8,760 hours of 2011 are about to be finished to make way for 2012...

What has the year brought you? What are your accomplishments? What resolutions of this year did you throw out within the months? What are the regrets? How about the unforgettable moments???

It is time for reflection.

The new year is about to start. How have you prepared for it? What old habits are you going to try to let go of? What new habits will you pick up? Which dreams to follow...what to pick...what to leave? A new year means 365 new days if we can live to tell the tale...aren't you choosing to make it an exhilarating journey? Better than last year? Aren't you grateful for this gift? How are you going to receive it???

Time for reflection is upon us. 

The Greatest Speech Ever Made

One of the most inspirational speeches in recorded history was given by a comedian by the name of Charlie Chaplin. 

Words to Live by

"The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountains is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, putteth himself behind them. Thus though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury." ~ A Chinese Saying

Unsaid Words

Life is short and there is no time,

to leave things unsaid is like diamond in the mine.

The unsaid is left unexplained,

falling on deaf ears and empty dreams unrestrained.

The less you talk the more it hurts,

how many times do you need to tear me apart?

I knew the time had come to let go,

when all you cared about were your walls and  ego.

Nothing hurts more than being ignored,

I poured my heart out to you from the deepest stores.

You could fill a book with words I said,

You filled me with grief by words you left unsaid.

Behind my smile was a hurting heart,

and behind my laugh I was gradually falling apart.

I wish I could have given you my pain,

so you could see all my senses that you have maimed.

Those wounds didn't seem to heal,

They kept oozing with pain that was just too real.

I'll be owkay?

is that what you want me to say?

there is emotion behind my "I don't care"

my soundless cries are what you don't hear.

My silence is my loudest cry,

I am too wounded to mend ignoring you is all I try.

I make no apologies bloke,

For how I choose to repair what you broke.

love is the only covering on all my pain,

and makes me feel whole and wonderful again.

The agony that I am feeling,

donesn't compare to the joy thats coming.

Perfect Crime

Wouldn't it be a perfect crime, if I stole your heart and you stole mine?
Better yet what if we planned this properly so the operations will go smoothly,
we will discuss all the hitches and plan for any emergencies..
In our perfect crime I will go undercover and learn everything about you,
so I can uncover all the tools necessary for me to gain access to your mind,
which will help me make connections and infiltrate all your fears, any old skeletons,
any failed dreams, any smile cloaked in despair, any resistance my presence will meet,
As I enter the dark crevices and meet all your phobias, I will advance with care,
so as not to create any permanent damage while I wipe all of them clear.

I want to advance slowly through your thoughts, swimming in them from breaststroke
to backstroke, until i can tread slowly and earn your respect, your faith,
I want to have a blue print of all the places I have encountered, so that I can safely
come back when the time is right for us to indulge in passion with fire burning in
our skin, blood flowing through our veins and adrenalin thumping in every terrain,
this has to be a perfect crime because if we get caught there is no escape,
no steel bars can equate the magnitude of heartbreak and anger, no sentence will
ever suffice if anything goes wrong, it has to be right, I was meant for you and
were meant for me, you the yin and me the yang, we shall forever remain strong.

The heist has to go smoothly, and we have to work together against any external
influences bent on turning us against one another, against our happiness,
trust - that when you jump I will always be there to catch you or break your fall,
Did I tell you about that one time when we were together, and I was basking
in your aura, and your presence, enthralled by your beauty as you slept peacefully
against my chest, your soft warm breath making my nerve ends stand and you
whispered in an undertone that you love me and you want to always be with me,
captivated by your admission i was spell bound by the number of times your heart
beat softly in each minute, your breast heaving slowly with each breath, contentment
and peace in your face, and your body hugging mine tightly in a warm embrace.

I knew the time was right, no matter the number bounty hunters disguised as well
wishers who are trying to separate you from me, no matter everyone who is telling
me that you are not good for me, I am ready. After all the preparations, after the
incessant studying, after all the missed trials, I can't cover all the weak points because
that's what makes me want to protect you all time, but I will disguise them so they appear
whole to other naked eyes, I know the lay of your body because its imprinted in my mind,
each crevice, each landmark, each hole, each pattern unique and wholly mine,
I have a blue print of your heart, you handed it to me for safe keeping, and I will
store it not in a safe where you need numbers for a combination, but I will combine
the number of times I am grateful for your faith my heart will store yours,
ask anyone, it doesn't matter how how thin your escape is, as long as we can get
away together winning is winning, so the punishment for this perfect crime is
to forever be locked away together, in wedlock, to endure till the end of time. 

I am...I am not...

I am good but I am not an angel 

I sin but I am not the devil

I hurt I am not invincible

I am pretty I am not beautiful

I am strong I am not a mountain.

I am smart I am not Einstein 

I do my best but I am not perfect

I get enraged but I have no resentments

I am different I am not out of the ordinary

I am insecure I am not shy

I sing but I am not Adele

I am me I am not anyone else

Win and Keep THE Love

Here are a few tips I believe are important to both win and keep the love between the two of you.

1. Behave like a female, i.e all the tenderness of a female - a man doesn't want a man for his wife.

2. Smell good.

3. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

4. Stop nagging non-stop before God gives you something to really complain about.

5. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

6. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.

7. Tell him he's the best husband ever. If he's not, he will definitely try harder.

8. Call his family often.

9. Give him a simple task to do at home and thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.

10. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you are interested.

11. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it.

12. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.

13. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you are quiet. Your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.

14. When you are mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious" rather "this action makes me furious". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.

15. Remember that your husband has feelings too, so take them into consideration.

16. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they are good guys. He will understand when you need a girls time. Plus him being out won't make him feel to cooped up at home.

17. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.

18. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.

19. Learn to make his favourite dish. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and a bit lower.

20. Make sure all his clothers are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.

21. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find the right time for discussion.

22. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.

23. Make sure you ALWAYS have somethng for dinner.

24. Brush your hair, everyday.

25. Suprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes can be gifts.

26. Try not to go shopping too much...and spend all his money.

27. Nothing says "I love you" like sex in the morning - wake him up in that special way. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him. Learn new tricks - always keep it fresh.

28. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time. (no children permitted)

29. If you are not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.

30. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect If you want perfection, wait until you enter Heaven together.

31. The above work in reverse...the husband should equally do all the above for his wife...

The Comfort

Sometimes our spirit basks in the knowledge that there are some people there who lend it some wings so it can soar. Thank you for being my comfort when it seemed that the whole world had turned it's back to me. 

I will try

Just for today I am going to attempt to do the things that I am supposed to do.

Just for today, I am going to put my feelings aside and do what you want me to do.

Just for today, I will put my pride aside and listen to instructions, even if they are wrong.

Just for today, I am going to make an effort and do things your way and see how that works out.

Just for today, I am willing to try, try and make it better.