Seeking Fulfillment...

Fulfillment is more trouble then it is worth. Yet I can't quiet the yearning in my heart to fulfill some dreams, to live out some hope, and ah the things I desire always seem to be just out of reach. My desire is increased when the fulfillment is postponed, my desire to be a better person, my desire to help people, my desire to change the world, my desire to be rich enough so that I don't have to worry about being broke, my desire to be someone someday, my desire to be the person I pretend to be. 

People take different roads in seeking fulfillment, different people yearn for different things and just because they are not on my road doesn't mean that they are lost. Some people like being famous, and don't mind the lack of privacy. Some people want to get to the top fast enough so they don't mind the greasy shortcuts. Some people take advantage of others, they don't mind having no scruples, because to each his own. 

For now I am trying to seek fulfillment in my writing. Trying to believe that I can achieve something through it. Trying to believe that it is good enough. Trying to believe that I inspire someone. Trying to believe that I touch someone. Trying to believe I can paint colorful pictures with simple words. I am waiting for my beginning. 

FLEETING HOPE

A smile, frozen in a moment, a moment of wonder,
A tantalising smile, full of restlessness, bliss; and anger

For long has fear hid behind that smile, a brewing thunder,

The world on my shoulders, weary, hoping it wont pull me under.

A mirror, shattered scattering into a thousand shards,

Broken, gluing them all back together is extremely hard.

My broken heart is reminiscent of that broken mirror, shattered

You want to make it whole, give it a beat, a sound and make it flutter.

The rain, coming down on me, obscuring my tears,

Piercing my heart, already cold, needing to drown my fears

Reaching out to touch me at every instant; you are the rain, a relief

You hand me back my dreams, on a devotion platter; so they may be lived.

The music, billowing deafening sounds to my blind ears,

Sounding like a moan, a bleat, a whimper, a shrilling scream

Mocking me, taunting my senses; turns soothing with healing tune,

In your arms, you orchestrate me musical notes, a symphony of sweet melody.

A bird, flying on clipped wings, claiming the sky hollow,

The chirping, not heard in a distant; reverberating with sorrow,

Tied to the shame, heavier than gravity; screaming and hurling away

You name a star, in the sky after me; my road engraved on the Milky Way.

A little girl, curled in a dark attic alone, struggling to stand up,

As she takes out the wings of my imagination, you blow away the hurt,

A fleeting hope is ignited, rekindling with flames something beautiful; soaring,

On the wings of my imagination, Love has found me again; I am coming home.