What Love is This

Hurt me deep and expect me to turn my pain into poetry,
Take me for granted and expect me to treasure you,
Never look my way yet expect me to be in tune with your every emotion,
Love me selfishly and expect me to love you wholeheartedly.

Do my tears excite you? Does my sorrow enthrall you?
Why do you act like all you want is for me to be in perpetual anguish,
When was the last time you saw a smile on my face that reached my eyes?
Am I not a worthy woman in your eyes to deserve kindness?

How did we get here? We used to embody love in its entirety,
We used to be so intertwined in mind and body, in tune with each breath,
emotion, look, touch, caress...You were my everything.
You used to complete me, my every reason for existing.

Now, as I think of you, tears stream down my face at the last fight,
It's the only way we know how to communicate,
I silently sob into my pillow as you snore into yours,
I start to dissect every single thing that brought us to this point.

We seem to be in a stalemate, having the same fight over and over again,
Each of us unable to hear the other, each unwilling to give in,
Finally I drift into a fitful sleep haunted by graphic nightmares,
Reminding that its a lull in the storm, we will wake to hurt one another again.

I Dare You...

I dare you to...

...wear no makeup for the whole day...
...eat the food that you are craving...
...tell a bitch/sun of a gun how you really feel...
...laugh hysterically and not worry if your face looks stupid...
....run across somewhere and watch the people think about how crazy you are...
...cry, smile, scream and just let it all out...
...question the rules if you can't break them...
...speak your mind...
for one day, I dare you to be 100% you...

Thank You Love...

I can be a challenge.
It might be difficult to wake up next to me every morning.
To get out of bed and to put on that smile.
To put an effort in loving me when I least deserve it.
I want you to know, that smile, that faith and that love
is what keeps me going some days.
Even through the rough times, you remind me that you are amazing.
You really are. 

I know that I am not perfect.
sometimes I turn my back on you instead of embracing you.
sometimes I take you for granted.
Sometimes I judge you on the pedestal I put my girlfriends.
Other times I use the things you tell me against you,
I manipulate you to get what I want from you - and you let me get away with it,
understanding me enough to let it be.
Most times I love how you try to love me with all the imperfections,
put up with incessant chatter, the worries and pressures I put myself through,
and even calling me beautiful on my fat days. 

For all the times that I am too self absorbed in my faults,
and you show me how perfect God made me for you; 

For all the times I beat myself up, you just hold me and let me rant; 

For all the times I mess up when I didn't listen to you and you refrain from saying "I told you so.";

For all the moments I have been blessed to spend with you, all the love you have been showing me;

I want to say thank you.

I want you to know that I love you.
And that I thank God everyday that He chose to send someone as wonderful as you into my life.
I want to promise you that I will not love you for the rest of your life,
because I am not sure if I will always be there.
I do promise you that I will love you for the rest of mine.
Thank you dear  Lord, I am eternally grateful for this miracle in my life
that you blessed me to live with everyday. 

Unsaid Words

Life is short and there is no time,

to leave things unsaid is like diamond in the mine.

The unsaid is left unexplained,

falling on deaf ears and empty dreams unrestrained.

The less you talk the more it hurts,

how many times do you need to tear me apart?

I knew the time had come to let go,

when all you cared about were your walls and  ego.

Nothing hurts more than being ignored,

I poured my heart out to you from the deepest stores.

You could fill a book with words I said,

You filled me with grief by words you left unsaid.

Behind my smile was a hurting heart,

and behind my laugh I was gradually falling apart.

I wish I could have given you my pain,

so you could see all my senses that you have maimed.

Those wounds didn't seem to heal,

They kept oozing with pain that was just too real.

I'll be owkay?

is that what you want me to say?

there is emotion behind my "I don't care"

my soundless cries are what you don't hear.

My silence is my loudest cry,

I am too wounded to mend ignoring you is all I try.

I make no apologies bloke,

For how I choose to repair what you broke.

love is the only covering on all my pain,

and makes me feel whole and wonderful again.

The agony that I am feeling,

donesn't compare to the joy thats coming.

I Miss You

I.. need you - but you... don't indulge me, 

I... worship you - but you... don't respect me,  

I... yearn for you - but you... don't desire me, 

I... want you - but you... don't feel like me, 

I... crave for you - but you... don't pine for me, 

I...  reach for you - but you... don't connect with me, 

I... care for you - but you... don't bother about me, 

I... gaze at you- but you... don't glance my way, 

I... feel you - but you... don't believe me, 

I... smile at you - but you... don't grin at me, 

I... sacrifice for you - but you... don't surrender to me,

I... reason with you - but you... don't hear me, 

I... love you - but you... don't feel affection for me...

I... miss you - but you... don't care anymore...

Why I love you for You

1. I love you because of your beautiful gentle heart.

2. I love how you always take care of your loved ones.

3. I love your honest eyes.

4. I love your great conversational skills.

5. I love your smile.

6. I love your character and mannerisms.

7. I love how can you be so crazy.

8. I love your sense of Allah.

9. I love that you are family oriented.

10. I love how you are very protective of those you love.

11. I love your wildside - underneath the ruffles.

12. I love your generosity.

13. I love you because you are you.

Because I am a Woman

Because I am a woman, I am your woman, I need you to understand some few things.

You know how I get mad at you and we fight?

Then you ask me what it is that you did, when you have been trying your best to please me,
Sometimes I tell you, sometimes I dont.
At times I feel so guilty that I am trying to change you,
yet I always tell you that I love you just the way you are,
Whilst at the same time I am trying my best to make you better in my eyes,
and I dont bother to ask if you want all the things I want for you.

Because I am your woman, I love you - more than I can tell you
Yet there are times that I hate you so much,
Because I feel that you do not understand me,
You cannot tell how I am feeling or what I am thinking,
So that you can give me what I want.
Then I realise the impossibility of my demands and
your never -ending patience and love.

Because I am your woman, I want you to be psychic,
Accurately read my mind so you can tend to my needs,
Decipher all the unsaid words so you can hear my heart,
and I give you hell when you get it wrong.
How can you possibly get it right, when what was owkay
yesterday is wrong today and dont try it tomorrow.
I realise I have been comparing you to one of my
friends - my girlfriends. They seem to get me to the T!!!


Because I am your woman, I apologize my love.
I am deeply sorry, and from this point forward
I promise to tell you exactly what it is that I want from you,
I will help you by voicing the thoughts running through my mind,
I will learn and try to be more patient,
I realise to make this work, we need to do it as a team,
and I need you to know that we are in this together.
and I love you. 

If not for YOU...

If not for you, I wouldn’t know

what true love really meant.

I’d also never know that

there is no better place,

To be right now,

Than on the floor,

Crying my eyes out,

Falling into a deep sleep,

To forget about the days,

Forget about the nights,

Forget about you.

If not for you, I’d never know

this intense craving,

to feel your tender touch;

to hear your voice;

No other one could take your place;

You’re it; I have no choice.

I block my ears,

From hearing the sounds,

Like your voice,

when you dedicate songs to me,

Those lovely songs,

They sounded to tender,

Now they kill me,

They hurt me,

If not for you, I’d never know

what its like,

When everything in the world

is beautiful;

Now, I don’t want to hear anything,

Don’t want to hear the waves,

Hitting against the sand,

Don’t want to hear the birds,

Singing outside the windows.

Don’t want to see my face,

Don’t want to see you,

Don’t want anything,

That has to do with you,

If not for you, I’d be adrift;

I don’t know what I’d do;

I’d be searching for my other half,

Incomplete, if not for you.

Now I want to forget the way,

You looked at me,

When you left me,

I want to forget,

I want to leave this world,

Close my eyes,

Fall to sleep to stop the heart,

From beating.

I hate you that I don’t wanna lose you

I hate you that I adore you

And I totally hate you the way I love you;

I hate me that I need you ,

I hate me the way I feel you

And breathe you, And taste you

I hate that I don’t have the strength,

Willpower, to let go

I hate you, I love you.

Now;

I just want to close my eyes,

just block away,

The world to stop the pain,

In my heart.

I just want my heart to stop beating,

To stop bleeding,

From your words,

Your love.

I gotta dislocate myself

from the tentacles

of my addiction,

To you.

YOU

You, enchanted my world;Breathtaking vision,

Astonishing world where dreams and reality are in fusion

Infatuation, with a craze of passion,

A pinch of liquid fixation,

Added enthrallment and captivation,

Turned into my obsession;

To the exquisite feel of your magical touch,

When you touch my lips, and enter my body.

I gotta extricate myself, from the web of your compulsion,

The dependence to your fascination, 

Literally breathtaking addiction, 

Luring me to the end of reason.

I don’t wanna lose your motivation,

I adore your need for my no-objection,

I taste you, when I breathe your intention,

You take advantage of the fact that

I love you beyond reason,

And I need no persuasion.

I hate You, invader of my concentration,

That without You I cannot function,

I need rehab to get rid of your domination,

The strength and willpower to your expulsion,

And completely erase You out of my system.

You know exactly how to execute your mission,

You sneak into my arms with beckoning compulsion,

You appeal to my dehydration;

“Just one more sip”.