Friday, August 31, 2012
I'm leaving...because he cheated
"I'm leaving him...because he cheated on me!" is a very common mantra I hear in western culture. It is a mantra depicted in a number of movies that there is no more despicable thing than a woman who finds her man cheating on her. As Comedian Katt Williams said it, "you leave a 98 percent good nigga for a funken 2%....coz he cheated!!!" In movies its all the same, women throw away years and years of love because a man cheated!! Don't get me wrong I am not condoning cheating but if you keep ranting, "I'm leaving my man, HE CHEATED ON ME!!!" please go to town and see all the fine, cute, sexy, hot, hungry and desperate chicks waiting to snatch your man's money and property and they don't even mind sharing....You cannot deny that there are far more women than men, yet every woman expects every man to have just one? That's just bad math (*can't believe i wrote that. *hides face) At least that thought is reasonable, get this: why do some women get with a man who already has a woman and encourages his to leave his woman and then expects him to be faithful to her?? (now thats messed up!!)
Where am I going with this you wonder? I am a Muslim woman so IF my man should cheat (God forbid) it is not an acceptable reason for me to leave. It is not even an option for me socially, ( my parents come from the school of thought where when something is broken, fix it - they don't want none of the modern crap where when a relationship starts to fail, we throw it away). The only viable solution for me is that he should marry her. That is what Allah decreed. and the man is allowed four wives in my religion...so on the day that I got married I know that at the back of my mind this man still has a right to marry three more women. ...cheating is not allowed even in Islam, and it is a punishable crime by death for adulterers because marrying four women is halal ...That changes the marriage perspective....can you imagine it? Could you live with it?
Just because polygamy is allowed doesn't mean that its easy. It doesn't mean that us Muslim women don't go crazy when we hear there is a second wife in the fold. Sometimes the guy finds a hotter, younger, smarter richer woman and makes her the second wife and we are filled with anger, betrayal and all...but when a man decided to just marry some woman and each time the first wife asks herself why he had to marry the 2nd one, why her? The first wife starts second guessing herself... A friend of mine recently told me that if her man ever married a 2nd wife she prays that she is not better than her in any way, so she can walk proudly and say "she aint got nothing on me!!"
Yet there are other people who marry two wives and they have justifiable reasons...but a woman's heart doesn't understand logic, reasons, rules...it just hurts, it bleeds..and she still has to smile and make the best of it.
The Miracle of Life
I dream of a day like this...
when our hardened lives and hearts are touched by something so pure,
by a miracle so beautiful and we were allowed a part in creating...
I dream of watching an innocent soul steal your heart by just a glance,
melt the anger by that smile...
enveloped in softness, in life.
I dream of a day like this...maybe one day...
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Allah exists...only in Ramadhan?
This is how we have all been trying to do in the past 20 days and will continue to do in the next ten days,
my question is what happens after that???
Personally, I find the hypocrisy exhausting, suddenly everyone I know believes and cannot wait to show me what I am doing wrong, everyone covers up, no skin or even better; people go to the extreme of no makeup at all, as in nada, kapish, everyone prays, the mosques fill up, the gossip is non-existent coz everyone is fasting, it is beautiful indeed. Its this time of the year that you get to realise just how many Muslims you have in facebook, as i call it even facebook becomes "Halalified"....a once in a lifetime opportunity that will probably end in ten days...
after ten days...the hijab is abandoned, make-up is on, gossiping, no one has time for Allah until next Ramadhan in the next year...and by then we hope to be alive to atone for the mistakes we know we are making and continuing to make...
My question is why?
why don't we learn something? why don't we keep at least one of the good habits we pick up in Ramdhan? Why do my sisters drop the hijab after Ramadhan? Why do we go back to life just like before, with the holy month of Ramadhan creating no lasting impact on us??
Don't get me wrong, I am not pointing fingers coz my hands are clean, okay maybe I am pointing fingers but wait, hear me out - my stance is more because in Ramadhan I am still the person that I am in the other days, I am not saying that is necessarily a good thing, I try to maintain being a good Muslim and pick up at least one new good habit... I dont do the whole oversized hijab just because its Ramadhan I keep my normal hijab, I try to use Ramadhan as a gauge in how I live the other days, I don't try to be a model muslim for 30 days then give it all up by eid...
I guess the point of this post is lets try to be more real, my dear Muslim brothers and sisters...Allah does exist everyday, of every year, in every moment, He was there in the past, is here now, and will be there in the future...something we cannot say for ourselves...so please lets stop this charade, let us have faith, let us believe, let us pray, let us stop gossiping, let us recite the Qur-an not just in Ramadhan...
but all the days throughout the year....
Ya Allah please forgive our sins and make space for us in Jannatu Naim. Amin
Monday, August 6, 2012
ISZ Get-to-getherrrr...iftaar
This was undoubtedly one of the most awesome nights in a long while....etched in my memory
...the food was seriously yummy...
the ladies were even yummier...
the mens are promising to be real hunkies...
my favourite boys...(a lil cougar i am kwikwikwi ;)
Letty...the madame in charge who made it all possible...
and Jaa...thanks for the photo and the memories...atta girl all the dudes right in there...
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