happy

The beach has always been a place where my mind rejuvenates, my heart calms down and reflects on the many issues that seem to plague it. I love the music of the waves as they hit on the sand, rhythmic, constant yet vibrant, can be angry, peaceful,  or not there at all. I feel at peace on the beach and it dawns on me that I am a small speckle in the big universe, and that makes me feel powerful. That I matter. That in all the beautiful things that were created I am one of them.

I live in an island, Zanzibar Island in East Africa. Many people associate it with exotic beaches, spice island, a historical town acclaimed by UNESCO World Heritage Sites. Yet I just call this place home, a small town in the sea, surrounded by water, where the majority do not know how to swim. It is the way it is.

I am grateful that everyday the sun shines on me, to bring me hope for a new day, green is everywhere and the sun sets with purple, orange and mirage of colors all to make way for a glistening moon that shines just for me. Because those things are always there for me, there is comfort in them, yet I stop noticing them in a while - but not the sea. The sea cleanses my mind, heart, body and soul. I have to search it, find that spot that makes me feel at home while wonder along the different avenues in my mind. When I leave, I am a new person, I have acquired a new perspective, and I am at my happy place.

Why not?

Who Am I?

I came across this image in my wanderings in the web, and I think it poses a true issue that I struggle with. It is wonderful that others can articulate my thoughts better than I can ever say them myself. Thus I hold it to be true that the most difficult phase in life is not when no one understands you- that is very common in my world - to the point that I have stopped to bother explaining.

But when I do not understand myself; that is truly a difficult phase. There are times when I can not comprehend my thoughts, cannot vocalize my feelings, cannot stand the person staring back at me in the mirror, and the little voices in my head talk ten at a time - chaos rules.

Then I realise that I am owkay, that I have a grasp of how I am feeling, even when I don't understand. That I am not perfect, that I am not always likeable. and its owkay. But if I get the reasons why, and I love me, then it's all good. 

Quotes that make you go hmmmm

Fallen, broken

I am a fallen Angel

When do I stop? When does anyone ever stop? Are we ever satisfied with our lives at any given moment? We tend to have this urge to be better, to be more, to demand for more and the moment we get what we want - we tend to set our goals to other heights. 

I write this because have you realised that when you are single, people ask about a girlfriend or boyfriend. When you have a fiancee they ask about a wedding. When you get married, they ask when you will have a baby? When you have a child, they ask when a little brother or sister is coming? When you have another one, they ask why you are having all this children? When you get divorced, they ask why? If you moved on, they ask why so quickly? When you choose a career over marriage, they tell you time is running out and you cannot do it all??

Will they ever stop??? Will people ever let you be? So you can live your life according to how you want it to be? Personally I am choosing to stop caring what they say about me, about my life. Because people will never stop talking. Where they are laughing at me because I am different, I am laughing at them because they are all the same. I am me, and I am doing me. I don't give a sugar honey iced tea about what they say. It is my life, only I should have the final word in how to live it. 

I love my life, I want to appreciate each moment, be it good or bad, I want to bask in remembrance, that I am here, and so God has a plan for me, and for that to work out - He needs me to always bring my A - Z game. He will supply the rest. So I may be broken right now - but I will heal. 

Timeless Expressions