In the Beginning

In the beginning, I did not want it, 

Did not want to be a part of the "us"

Did not want to give you the access

that will enable you to break my heart.

But you were so insistent, full of promises, 

You were always there, whether I wanted or not, 

Made so much fun of yourself, you were crazy, 

and I thought I found someone I can be me with. 

Hesitantly, I gave you the chance that you wanted, 

I gave you a shot, see where "us" would go, 

I was testing to see how far you would endure, 

Until you hurt me, use me, then leave me. 

But you were oh so different,

 you kept all the promises you said you would, 

And gave so much more - than I was afraid 

to ask for, but secretly wished for. 

In the beginning, you made sure that I would love you, 

Love you so much more than myself, 

Love you so much that I would never leave you, 

and I don't know when I crossed that threshold. 

Now, you feel that your work is done, 

You have me, I am utterly yours, 

You sit back, let me do everything, 

the chores, the thinking and the happiness. 

In the beginning you knew everything about me, 

Now you don't, it enrages me, its smoldering - softly, 

You say I am impossible to please; without really trying, 

That you don't understand me, that I am enigmatic. 

Maybe, just maybe if you realised that 

I am what you wanted, I warned you 

In the very beginning, that I am different

That I am nothing like anyone you have known. 

Now, you want me to be like all of the others, 

You want me to be static, not dynamic or 3D or HD, 

You want me to be like how I can never be, 

I am a free untamed spirit, how can you ask that?

In the beginning, I would let you get away with it, 

Fight my demons alone inside me, and eat my heart, 

But not now, not today - I want you to really see me. 

I am not sleeping angry - we are going to stay up and fight!!!

In the beginning we used to fight because we don't understand one another,
Now we fight because we understand each other too much,
Through it all, our bond has gotten stronger, deeper, the road smoother.
I see it now, that the end is much better than the beginning.

A Prayer for our Mothers

Dear Lord,

Today I pray for my mother--

and our mothers everywhere,

who have made such a major contribution

to the good qualities we have,

Through great effort and patient instructions,

and who have gently polished away our rough edges.

Lord, please bless our mothers

for the endless hours of time they spent

and the nonstop energy they invested in us.

Bless our mothers for the sacrifices made on our behalf

as they often gave up or altered their own dreams

so that we could have ours.

Lord, please bless our mothers,

Who use to hold us before we could walk,

used to hear us before we could talk,

who picked us up whenever we fell,

sometimes letting us fall so we can learn how to pick ourselves up.

Lord, as I gaze in wonder,

as I watch my miracle - my mother.

Lord, You let me know you love me, through her;

In so many different ways.

Nobody loves me like my Mother.

No matter what I do,

Good or bad, happy or sad,

She supports me; She always comes through.

She is a good and fine role model,

A blessing from above.

I couldn’t be any prouder

Than I am today;

You’re my mother and my friend,

It’s a privilege to be your daughter,

Lord, please bless our mothers mightily.

Strengthen them, soothe them,

wrap them in Your infinite love

and shower them with blessings

too numerous to count, too magnificent to describe.

We love them, admire them, respect them,

and we wish that You would give them back

many times the good they gave to us.

I pray in your name, Amin.

My Black is Beautiful

From the color of my skin, to the texture of my hair, 

to the length of my strands, to the breadth of my smile,

To the stride of my gait, to the span of my arms,

to the depth of my bosom, to the curve of my hips, to the glow of my skin, 

My Black is Beautiful.

It cannot be denied. It will not be contained.

And only I will define it.                                                                                                             

For when I look in my mirror, my very soul cries out, 

My Black is Beautiful.

And so today, I speak it out loud,

unabashedly, I declare it anew, 

My Black is Beautiful.

Whether celebrated, imitated, exploited or denigrated.

Whether natural from inside or skillfully applied, 

My Black is Beautiful.

To my daughters, my sisters,

my nieces, my cousins,

my colleagues and my friends,

 I speak for us all when I say again, 

My Black is Beautiful.

Found this somewhere online. All I can say is Amen, Hallelujah!!

Confusion

i blew at my cup, tryna cool my steaming icecream,
while i was lost in thought as i sat at the corner of a round table,
staring back at the blind man who stared back at me funny,
hearing his deaf friend complain about the noise of traffic,
i had to get up, out of that place,
my skin was already getting goosebumps from the heat,
besides, i was already late for the next day's meeting,
so i boarded a bus at the smelly train station,
which took me to where i was going,
turned back and returned me to where i had been.

only to realise the round table i had sat on was actually square,
and the blind man really had no eyesight there,
his deaf friend couldn't hear
and his soundless world was the reason for all of his wrinkles of fear.
my skin had actually darkened from the heat,
and it was hours till my sister and i had to meet,
i walked past the bus top which was above the train station,
turned around in subconscious confusion,
knowing that if my day wasn't right from where i'd chose to start it,
i'd have to go back to where it started,
and ask myself some hard questions,
being the only way i could learn life's most difficult lessons.

was it possible?
a round table could actually have a corner if you wanted it to?
just because people were living in this round world,
but constantly being pushed off its edges?
could the blind man see because
he was the only one who knew the meaning of love at first sight?
because its only him who realised that its not about what's on top
its about what's inside?
could my deaf man hear oh so very well?
as actions will always say it louder than words could ever tell?
and could tomorrow work out if i prepared for it today?
and stop being fools to think it would sort itself out in its own way?
then i realised that life is just how you see it,
made by how you make it,
and justified by how you justify it.

so i'm happy that i managed to write you some theoretical stories,
to bring you a little closer to my madness,
and i'm sure after managing to read all these line you've gotten used ,
to the fact that i'm just confused. :-)

Tunumariya Yongolo

J.K.M: JoKate Mwegelo

 ...this is a girl - woman that we all have to look out for...in the future...
..expecting great things from you; and we look to you to challenge yourself ...
...to do more...to raise the bar higher for yourself...for others...
...a role model...a beauty queen with style, grace, compassion and one unstoppable spirit...
...so follow me and take a sneak peek at this phenomenal woman...

Moving on

This is another random pouring of thoughts stemming from a simple line, that trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew. Let's face it; it is very true. We all have our sob stories, the people who hurt us, broke our hearts and shattered them into tiny little pieces that it took God awhile to find all of them and make our hearts whole again. Yet, the aftermath is always there, the experience always affects your outlook on life - whether good or bad is up to you.

Yet when you sit with yourself, and can see through your own pain, and be honest with yourself, you start realising the part you played that led to the ultimate finale. As you focus on the images differently, you appreciate the good, the really good times. They were tainted before, and you had been looking at them from the wrong end of the telescope, yet when you have all your wits about you, you will admit it to yourself that you cannot ever forget someone who managed to make you move from yourself and love him/her. You cannot forget the feelings and how it made you feel. If you are smart enough, you raise the bar higher for the next person that you will give your heart to.

So, when the current man/woman/friend in your life asks you if you have gotten over the other person, the answer is ofcourse YES. If they were to go further and ask you if have forgotten them, an honest answer is always NO. Because there will always be memories, and you never know when something might jolt them from the subconscious to the present moment. If the love was real, even for a moment, you will never forget it - and I am not sure that you should even be trying to.