From the throes of my pain, a smile breaks the winter of tears and tentatively my heart picks up a beat. Why is hope always lurking and refusing to be ignored? I told myself I wont do this again, I am tired of being hurt and yet the hope sparks memories of happiness and possibilities...so I decide to stay in love again...even though I had promised I was over this mess.
Baby steps...three hours later I fall back into my depression and start asking why I am believing you again and falling for you when I know how badly you can wound me? Why this heart continues betraying me? Why can I not erase him? Why do I fall for his words when I know he is lying...back into the black hole of uncertainty...
I get out again...I smile again. I look good again. I love you again. I don't know when I will fall back into my gnawing pain. I am walking by your side again...tentatively holding your hand, hoping that when I fall down again, I will pick myself up. Baby steps...
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