Most men have a hard time understanding women...even a woman they've been married to for years. One minute she is perfectly fine, the next she is an atomic bomb. She complains about something but when you offer advice on how to fix it, she still wont be satisfied. Let me tell you secret about women...don't worry so much about what she says, instead you should worry at what she doesn't stay. So here is a couple of things is my short time as a married woman have taught me...and we will never say this to you...
1. All we want is YOUR LOVE!!!
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love. And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect and the vicious cycle continues over and over again.
So if you want to make your life better, and stop this vicious cycle to become your ever ending reality, show her some love. That's all she wants. Love your wife despite her quirks, and she will overlook yours. And this woman will love you so much...and this woman will love you deep. Your wife will love you for keeps...she will love you until lemons become sweet!!
2. She's BORED!!!
It's the same monotonous thing everyday, day in day out, week in week out. Its boring. Not only is she bored she is also tired. Tired from having to take care for the kids, running the household for you, and then pampering you - and she works too, just like you. Imagine if you had to do that all the time - full time.
So my dear brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special - give her a break. Take her out sometimes. Surprise her by cooking dinner or doing the dishes sometimes. Bring her favorite dessert home sometimes. Just do something, anything every now and then to break the monotony.
3. She want's to be COMPLIMENTED!!!
Appreciation. Everybody craves to be appreciated. No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, taken for granted. It is not a woman's requirement in a marriage to clean your dirty clothes, to cook your meals, to heal you, to make you whole - but she does. And she does that on top of everything else she has to do in her life. Caring for the kids, working or going to school, striving to be a better Muslim....to mention but a few.
Show your wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family. We often take our spouses for granted so much that we never let them know that we appreciate them. A simple "thank you" is a good start.
4. She is insanely JEALOUS!!!!
There is a reason women don't care for polygamy even though it is decreed by Allah. Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife. Don't ever compare your wife to another woman. Don't compare her to some movie star. and please DON'T compare her to your mother...and never ever compare her to your ex-wife or the other wife.
She wants to know and to believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way. Expect and respect, some jealousy from your wife.
5. She wants you to take the lead.
She cannot stress enough the importance of men taking the role of the leader within their families. And that is a problem with a lot of Muslim men nowadays. Not only are they not being good leaders, they are being led by their wives, (or mothers, or other women in their lives.) When will you understand that its the man who sets the tone, when you are not around we smell your cologne.
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead than to show her how to be a better person? A better Muslim? But you can't show her how to become better if you are not that great either...remember God made Adam before He made Eve. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and improve her in a gentle and respectful way.
6. Surprise surprise!!! She doesn't like to NAG
It's a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. that is not entirely true. She doesn't like to have to nag you but you make it very very hard. But even so, as women we should be grateful of the things our husbands do for us. But very often, men make it so hard for women to hold their tongue. We want to respect you never want to hurt you. We give your our bodies but we'd rather give you our virtues. Perhaps you are always finding faults in her in she looks for things in your character to get even, perhaps you are not working, or not working hard enough and she has to take up the slack. Or perhaps you are just not that great of a guy but she loves you anyway. We give up on our dreams trying to break your walls. We bend over backwards to show you how much we care. So dude, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain or nag.
7. More than anything, she wants a stable and HAPPY relationship with you.
Women don't get married because they don't think it it's gonna be fun. They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe that you're gonna give it to them. Outside her religious duties, that's the most important thing in a Muslim woman's life. Raising a happy, stable family. and guess what? it's very easy for you to give it to her.
- Stop acting like a jerk, Be a good husband to her. Be kind to her. Show her you love her.
- Don't threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yes, you have the right to do both, but using them as threats in inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
- Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There's nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage.
See that isn't all hard. Is it now?