Old Love

Most people I know are looking for love. The lucky ones have already found it and are looking for ways to keep it safe.  As they love is just a four letter word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. We all want that perfect love, better than any love story that we have ever read. Love is so dynamic, no one really knows how love feels because its different with each person; but there are so many manuals out there which tells you how its supposed to feel, sometimes I wonder what if they are wrong? I want old love. 

I love new love, don't get me wrong. When you hear a song and only his name comes to mind? Or when you meet The Guy who helps you let go of the pain? Or when you cannot stop texting each other and you tend to know exactly what goes on in each others minds? Better yet when you can finish each others sentences. Or  you cannot quiet the butterflies in your stomach at the mere contact of skins - even if it was just a brush of hands. You start imagining in intricate detail the first time that you kiss, and when it finally happens its always better than what you could ever hope for.  New love is exciting with a tinge of adrenalin rush.

I think Love is a journey of two people travelling together, they may take different routes but they are headed in the same destination. Friends could travel together and on the way they cross the threshold into love. One cannot quite remember how it came to be, yet the process is ever changing if you can stay together. The love emerges. The love  grows, the love strengthens. It takes real strength of character to fall in love with the same person everyday. To make love to the same person everyday. To believe in the same person everyday. To grow with the same person. To build with the same person. To fight with the same person everyday. To have a family with the same person. To annoy the same person. It takes real strength.  Love is an act of forgiveness, a tender look that becomes a habit. 

The beauty of old love is that it requires no explanation, and there are boundless surprises if you can sit and walk through memory lane. Old love is more free, when you have been with someone for that long, through that many things, created lives, and live life more carefree. You have seen old people together, the rituals, one cannot eat without the other present, they don't really care how embarrassing they are, they have this infinite love and joy each time they gaze at their grandchildren, old love is stubborn as hell, it may even take up new ventures, old love does not judge, old love is golden.

That's why I have set my heights on old love. I want to create old love with my partner. I love watching my parents and his parents. With thirty years worth of memories and as mum say the love is only 5 years. The rest is mazoea. They always remind us that it wasn't always good, they didn't amount to all those years because they left when things weren't going well. They tell me you have to fight for old love. They fought hard for the exclusive rights to be so silly and to be right down embarrassing as they are now. To boast about how much they have been through. To be at ease. To know each other so intimately. To have the silent conversations in a crowd. To know each other's opinions in different matters. To let each other grow. To fall apart so they can appreciate when it gets better. They have earned their love, they have paid their dues, and they are the sages who are trying to show us the ropes. 

So my dear, here is my vow to you: 

...On Being Old...

I received this in my inbox and I felt the need to share. When an old woman was asked on how they feel being old...

"As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. 

Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play on the computer until 4AM or sleep till noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They too will get old.  

I know  I am sometimes forgetful, but there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But , broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. 

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've earned the right to be wrong.  

So to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it)."