hmmmmmm

In order to be irreplacable you must always be different.

How can you attain different when you are faced with the same thing everyday?

Look at the melting chocolate above...begging to be paid some attention...

if you wait too long...it will all melt and the taste will not be the same. 

I think this analogy would hold true in any day to day activity that we engage in..

be it the work place, the relationship, the cleaning...

the key is to find something exciting in the mundane...and its not an option

if you don't, you get stuck in the rut...

suddenly you won't be able to distinguish one day from the next, 

the most joyful things in life start to become a chore, 

the things/people you love become the things/people you use to love, 

the dreams become a distant memory, 

before you know it, you start questioning why you wake up everyday anyway!!!

Let's be patient...

You tell me I am going to Hell...who told you?? When was that your job??? Get off your high horse...

and let us try this....

Please let us try not to judge, let us try not to condemn...

 ....but rather let us be tolerant and patient with one another... 

Different

Sometimes I want to scream. Scream that its not fair, scream at everyone to stop expecting so much from me, scream at anyone to accept me, to stop judging me to just let me be. Yes, I am a different kind of breed to the usual Zanzibari Muslim woman, married at that. Yes, I was born here, lived here and grew up in this very island - its just that I went to a different type of school. I went to the International School of Zanzibar, after that the International School of Moshi and then to the University of Dar-es-Salaam. I normally credit these facts to the reason why I turned out the way I did. Obviously if I was never schooled in those places I would have been just like everyone else(thank God I am not).

The result is not always good. I always have to explain why I speak such fluent English, even though I grew up in Tanzania. As shameful as it is, I know the geography of the rest of the world but I don't know the geography of my own country. Half my phone calls are unintelligible to those around me and I sort my friends by continent, and all my best friends are at least in 5 different countries. and then I still live in Zanzibar, where different is rare. Everyone is so sure of how their life is going to be, there are so many set rules that i always find myself breaking, so i tend to stick out like a sore thumb. Owh, I am owkay dress code wise I can fit in - but the moment I open my mouth...all hell breaks lose. I think the great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. See due to the background I had I can't help but be affected by it, yet my muslim home and society have specific expectations that always contradict my said back ground.

I was taught in school that it okay to question things, but all I see around me is that people take things as they are. I want to dress in jeans and go swimming in swim suit, but my society categorises that as an abhorred action. I want to have to be someone, most people don't understand that notion. I know people here but its hard to make friends, everyone knows everyone else, they have been together for the past 10 years...they are even scared to open their doors to me. I am always torn between my desire to be myself and my secret need to fit in sometimes, to be normal for lack of better word. This constant battle, some of my friends tell me I have a split personality. Its hard to say the opposite of what I feel, grovel before what I dislike and rejoice at what brings me nothing but misfortune - and funny enough I catch myself doing that time and again.

But on a fine day like this, I want to say to all of them that judge me all you want and keep the verdict to yourself. You may call me a loner, weird, different, but inside myself is a place i live all alone, its a place i go to for renewal. It is my heaven. They laugh at me because I am different, I laugh at them because they are all the same

My Pic of the Day

..marriage from kids perspectives...

...too funny...and had to share...

Blessed and Grateful

I want to be grateful for everything blessed me with...yet when I try I can't fully count how blessed I am...

I am alive- thank You 

I am healthy - thank You

I have two feet - thank You

I have a wild imagination - thank You

I have a family who care for me - thank You 

I have friends - thank You 

I am a Muslim - thank You 

I am employed - thank You 

I have a loving husband - thank You 

I live in a war free country - thank You 

The sun shone for me this morning - thank You 

I can hear birds chirping outside my window - thank You
 I have a heart and can feel things deeply - thank You 

I was well rested during the night- thank You 

I have food to eat - thank You 

I have my own place that I am converting into a home - thank You 

I have a beautiful mind which can vocalise my gratitude to You - thank You

...and the list is endless...

Owh I don't want to lie to myself and say I don't have problems, I do. But how else will I know when things are good if they never change to be bad? Of all the things being given our way and we are filled with unexpressed gratitude, that can also be a problem too. I mean if we shift our focus and see only those blessings that engulf us everywhere, our whole lives would take a new look.  I am sure God loves testing us so that we can push our own imaginary invisible limits we place on ourselves, I think sometimes He wants to see how quickly we will run to Him when we have problems, and will we remember Him when we are rejoicing? I mean if i am not grateful for what i have now how will i ever be grateful to future blessings yet to behold?

I like to always reminding myself that if it is good it will pass, and if it is bad it will also pass. That bad phase I am going through, something will give and it will get better. I will do everything in my power to make it better and leave the rest to Him. I like to console myself by telling me that one day I will look at all the past heartache and smile.

I want to be more gentle with myself as You are to me.
I want to be more forgiving to myself as You are to me.
I want to be more understanding of myself as You are to me.
I want to have more fun with myself as You try to remind me to.
I want to be of service to myself as You are to me.
I want to have more faith in myself as You have in me.
I want to be more trusting with myself as You are of me.
I want to try not to get caught up judging You, doubting You and Your will,
I want You to catch me always being grateful so You can continue bestowing them to me.

The road of life may seem long and with you by my side, I can travel it, the challenges are great but i can overcome them. God's blessings are always a big surprise, how much you recieve depends on how much you believe...and of course to who much is given much is expected.