I am trying to come to terms with the fact that you will soon leave me here to deal with everything by myself. You are my friend and my sanity, my reality check, my blank canvas where I can throw all my emotions, not necessarily paint a master piece but you will still treat it with care. You are leaving, of course you will be back (inshallah) and this long distance friendship that I have to try to do, that we have to make it work.
My selfless me wishes you the best, that I know you deserve this, and it has been long coming and you have worked so hard for this moment and I don't want to tarnish it with my selfish longings of what I wish for. I guess this is what they mean if you truly love someone you should help ground them and still allow for their wings to soar to the heights of their heart's desire. The former is much easier than the latter.