Someone questioned me, are all writers sad?
Why I asked?
The answer came is that there is so much more writing on sadness, on emptiness, on heartbreak, on betrayal and everyone can relate. Why don't you write about happiness?
With a smile on my face I replied, not all writers are sad, but sad girls write more.
There is plenty being written about happiness, how it feels, the stuff that love is made of...but sadness overwhelms. Happiness is self-explanatory. Its like a confident child laughing with abandon and bubbling with infectious good energy that you can't help yourself but smile. It is a beautiful poetry and every sense of our existence can feel it...its like the heart beating and pumping blood and oxygen... we may not be aware of the intricacies of the how...but we do know that if it stops...then life as we know it can be over.
Sadness on the other side...is much more difficult to notice, you could be feeling it and not be aware of it until happiness knocks loudly. We have been taught that feeling sad is wrong...therefore we have learned from a young age to mask the emotion...sometimes we get so good we can even hid it from ourselves.
Is this why you disappear on your own blog...because you are happy?
Sometimes...but mostly no. Life catches up. Responsibilities increase. Sometimes I am not good at putting into words everything that is going on...other times I have so much going on...a few minutes of self expression feels too much. Wherein lies my biggest problem...I worry and love about others so much more than my own needs. This has always been a space for me to figure out my feelings or to help others feeling the same. Not all the stories are my own...some are borrowed from others struggles and triumphs. But I do promise to stay a little longer this time...to try a little harder...
Are you sad now then?
The beguiling smile on my face is your answer.