Saturday, February 18, 2017

The D Word.


The dreaded D word. 

How did this happen? As she sits crying and going through every detail of what happened until she is in this position, crouched on the floor. Crying. Hurting. It has been bad for a while. They were always fighting. It was one thing after another. She felt that the love had changed. He did not respect her. He cheated on her repeatedly. Every time she touched his phone, she ended up crying. The kids were like hers alone, he didn't want to deal with it. The in-laws, that is another constant raging war. It was like the only time she caught a break was to go off and cry alone. Be in her own feelings and then she makes up the perfect retort that she cannot hold back so the fighting starts again. 

He feels suffocated with the constant nagging and questions. He cannot use his phone in peace without accusations that he is chasing hoes. She is so absorbed in the kids and he doesn't know who she is any more other than a home maker and a mother. The woman has not only gained weight but has been lost completely. After a long day at work, it gets even more draining thinking of going home and he couldn't take it anymore. She never listened. 

They were always fighting and each person could not compromise and each one didn't want to change. Each blamed the other for the state of things. its not that they loved each other less, but love left a bitter taste in the mouth. It suddenly seemed clear that there is no other way around it...the only way to get out of the black hole that sucked everything into it....was to stop wondering about what went wrong and how to make it better but rather to leave the broken pieces on the floor and move on. 

He filed for a divorce. 

She felt shattered. 

Its scary sometimes because you just don't know what its about. Is it learning how to love or learning how to fly again? How do they figure out the next steps? Perhaps its  just to understand how to survive the fall.  

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