Friday, February 17, 2012

Finding the Good in: GOODBYE

Why do the people I really like always have to leave?? Why can't they all be in the same place. Someone always has to leave. Then I have to say goodbye, I hate saying goodbye. Goodbyes are hard but who said hellos were easy? So what I need are more hellos. They say goodbyes aren't forever and hellos never last, its the space in between when the future becomes the babes I want to be your favourite hello and your hardest goodbye. 

When I miss you too much (no doubt) I will re-read our old phone and e-mail conversations and smile like an idiot. See, its not always the goodbye that hurts the most, its the memories of you that I can't forget and the flashbacks that I will always have. Whereas you are leaving me behind, I am left in a place imprinted of our memories and time together. All the things we used to do. All the laughs we had. All the embarrassing things I did. What shall I do with the days and hours that are counted until I see you again? You know what I realised today? Goodbye makes me think about all that I took for granted. All the things I wished I said to you. All the promises I wish I kept. All the stuff we should have done. But, c'est la vie. 

Enough about me. College is the best time of your life. I mean when are your parents ever going to pay several thousands dollars to move you in another town, and you can party every night? Exactly!!! Never thought of it that way huh??? So live your life, do you. Pursue your happiness. Don't live down to expectations, go out there and do something remarkable. If you should forget me for a while that's owkay, as long as I know that you are happy, then I am good. I know that in the midst of it all, you will always remember me. 

So don't cry that you are going away. Smile because we met. Because I managed to intimately know the incredible person that you are. And you kept up with all my bullshit. So the silver lining is; smile because our paths crossed. Don't be so sad at the goodbye, a farewell is necessary before we can meet again. The reason it hurts soo much to be apart is because our hearts are connected. Yeah, we could never be sisters because God knew our mothers couldn't handle us together, so He made us friends. 

I do feel like a woman of the world, now the earth seems so spacious. With so many loved ones scattered everywhere. We may not always be together, but you will always be in my heart. I love you.

***P.S: This is how I will feel in a while.  Right now, I wish you would stay with me and not leave. I am fighting back the tears at the very thought that I cannot randomly surprise you and annoy you. That I will not be able to see you everyday. That we will not do random hanging out. Right now, I have to take each day at a time. I have to keep it together, and that in time I will find a way to deal with the constant reminder of your absence in my life. 

"This is my wish for you: A sunbeam to warm you, A moonbeam to charm you, A sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you.  ~ Irish Blessing"

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