Thursday, March 29, 2012

This is to You...

I have always been different, weird, never fitting in,
always rebelling, not conforming, special, strange,
until it got so lonely in that place, until I no longer wanted to be me,
until I became an outcast, a stranger in a place so familiar,
heads turned, hushed whispering followed places I passed,
people I knew trying to decipher the puzzle that I am,
I had to work so hard to defend being myself,
until I longed to be just like everyone else.

So I tried to be as normal as I could be,
tried so hard not to speak so randomly,
swallowed my words so I don't say what I really feel,
or run around screaming because it makes me feel free,
I boxed myself in into a compartment and put it aside,
Tried to act like a lady, sassy, classy, filled with pride,
did what was expected of me and not what I wanted,
did it so well until I was so suffocated,
maybe I don't want to try so hard to fit in anymore,
maybe I was born to stand out like a sore thumb,

I want to thank you for making me realise this,
I am neither weird nor strange, I am limited edition,
You inspired me to be more than the boundaries positioned,
to push the status quo, to try something I didn't do before,
what do you want me to do? You said I was so good,
at giving advice, a genius at assessing perspectives,
gentle enough to never hurt feelings intentionally,
so I should share me with everyone,
do something out of my comfort zone,
strip myself bare, shed my insecurities, denounce my worst nightmares
and clean all the skeletons everywhere -  and share.

You made it sound so simple, to start a collection
of my thoughts, of my ideas, to keep track of my mind
as it wonders, of my imagination as it soars,
write it all down and start a blog of my own.
You were so sure that I could do it, that I have all
the necessary tools if only I would take a leap of faith,
that I have been destined to make this world special,
You were so sure that I almost believed you,
Your vision of me, you belief in me and my abilities
more than I credit myself in my fantasies,
and you asked me to trust you, that it is a possibility.

Here I am today, Senses of Me up and running,
One hundred and fifty one post and more coming,
more than four thousand hits and still counting,
visitors from the world over and still expanding,
You are still there, helping, directing and motivating,
correcting, praising, reading, and sharing,
So today this post is for You, I want to say thank you,
for everything, for helping me never to fall short in my potential,
for reminding me of the person I used to want to become,
the person that I am and the person I have to be, for me,
Thank you for inspiring and giving birth to Senses of Me. 

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