Monday, November 28, 2011

In the Beginning

In the beginning, I did not want it, 
Did not want to be a part of the "us"
Did not want to give you the access
that will enable you to break my heart.

But you were so insistent, full of promises, 
You were always there, whether I wanted or not, 
Made so much fun of yourself, you were crazy, 
and I thought I found someone I can be me with. 

Hesitantly, I gave you the chance that you wanted, 
I gave you a shot, see where "us" would go, 
I was testing to see how far you would endure, 
Until you hurt me, use me, then leave me. 

But you were oh so different,
 you kept all the promises you said you would, 
And gave so much more - than I was afraid 
to ask for, but secretly wished for. 

In the beginning, you made sure that I would love you, 
Love you so much more than myself, 
Love you so much that I would never leave you, 
and I don't know when I crossed that threshold. 

Now, you feel that your work is done, 
You have me, I am utterly yours, 
You sit back, let me do everything, 
the chores, the thinking and the happiness. 

In the beginning you knew everything about me, 
Now you don't, it enrages me, its smoldering - softly, 
You say I am impossible to please; without really trying, 
That you don't understand me, that I am enigmatic. 

Maybe, just maybe if you realised that 
I am what you wanted, I warned you 
In the very beginning, that I am different
That I am nothing like anyone you have known. 

Now, you want me to be like all of the others, 
You want me to be static, not dynamic or 3D or HD, 
You want me to be like how I can never be, 
I am a free untamed spirit, how can you ask that?

In the beginning, I would let you get away with it, 
Fight my demons alone inside me, and eat my heart, 
But not now, not today - I want you to really see me. 
I am not sleeping angry - we are going to stay up and fight!!!

In the beginning we used to fight because we don't understand one another,
Now we fight because we understand each other too much,
Through it all, our bond has gotten stronger, deeper, the road smoother.
I see it now, that the end is much better than the beginning.


  1. Whats funny is that in the midst of all that, you don't realize how stronger your bonds get, how deeper you two get to know each other.
    Until months or even years of sunshine and sunset later... that you will see the fruits of all the paths you two have had to go through.
    :)... its all worth the while!

  2. ...its a tough ride...but i agree with you, the end is normally much better than the beginning :)


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