I recently received a request from a friend who is getting married very soon and asked me to share with her my experience since i was married very recently. Here is what I have to say:
1. Marriage day is one of the biggest day in anyone's life. Growing up, my mum always use to say that each person has three big days in our lives where the whole world stops for us. Those days are: the days you were born, the day you get married and the day you die. I think she is right.
2. Like any bride, I urge you to prepare, prepare and prepare - but when the day comes, go with the flow. Don't worry if everything is not going exactly as you planned, if it is going then it is meant to be that way.
3. Marriage and the wedding day are two very different things. We can plan and prepare to the T, for the wedding day - it can be perfect. But marriage, the journey, the process, the good, the bad and everything in between is something that you can only live to experience, and keep your wits about you while enjoy the ride.
4. Cry, its very important - do it with someone who matters, it is more healing than crying alone. Before, during, or after the wedding. The pent up emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, happyness - feel them. Don't keep them all in. Once you let all that energy out, fill every pore with positive energy, envigorate with laughter and dress yourself with a smile. Always. (You will be thankful you did especially wen the wedding videos and pictures come out. )
5. Honeymoon. Is an essential part of the wedding. Nothing will ever beat those jittering nerves and constant butterflies when you can finally tell the world that you are one. Take time out and enjoy that, when the whole word stops in wonder for you, bask in that glory and store those feelings away; so you can take them out during troubled times.
6. Family and friends. You will need them more than you can imagine.
7. Happyness. Its very important that the man you chose to live the rest of your life with makes you happy. You have to live with the consequences of that decision for a long time and every morning you wake up to that reminder.
8. Space. Marriage involves space. It is beautiful that you will always have a witness to your life, someone who will always be there. Yet that is also a test of marriage. That someone is always there. My theory is relationships involve three parts always: YOU, ME, US!! don't compromise any one part for the other, each is important to make the relationship healthy.
9. Life is a gift, enjoy it, live it, revel it, embrace the woman that you will become as a result of this journey. Marriage will lift you, break you, challenge you, embrace you, comfort you and so much more. Enjoy each moment, register each senstation and to me that is always the best way to live. In the moment.
10. Love. God. They complete your marriage. They keep you grounded. and they make life worth living - with a belief and hope that today is good, and tomorrow it will even be better. The more grateful you are; the better it becomes.