Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Me, Myself and I...Part I

All my life, I have been scared, of being me, 
I have been worried that people don't like what they see
when they look straight through what i pretend to be
Controlled deep down and bounded to never be free 

I starved myself because I wanted to be perfect,
I wore no makeup to hide my insecurity,
I used to keep to myself because I was scared,
I talked to guys more because girls hated me, 

As I watched my own life pass me by,
Like a passenger, watched the scenery blur away,
created everyday by a committee in my head,
 through the choices I made, based on nothing that I wanted. 

My life came with instruction manual
Name me a time, a day, a second, 
I know what I am supposed to be doing, 
I went through the motions, feeling trapped. 

I mentally killed myself a hundred times, 
I wanted out, out of this body, this framed destiny, 
every moment was pre-ordained, without my approval, 
my consent was in the people driving me. 

I couldn't see them, touch them or feel them, 
but I could hear them loudly every time I took a turn,
every time I tried to find out what I wanted, 
who am I and whose life was I living?

Life broke me down, and I had to find a source
 of strength to pull myself up because
 I do not want to regret growing older, 
its a blessing denied from many.

Whose life am I living? everything in life is temporary,
if its good - it will change, if it is bad, it will change. 
Nobody said life would be easy, they promised it would be worth it
This road I am on will hopefully get me to where I want to be.

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